∙ᶌ∙ Ϡ ∙ᶌ∙ the real housewives of ‘Once Upon A Time’

“Will you pleeeease stop calling me Red!”  whined the young woman formerly known as Little Red Riding Hood.  She pushed back the hood of  the grey wolf  fur coat she was wearing,  stamping snow off  of  her matching fur boots as the butler closed the front door of  the castle behind her.

“Oh,  for Pete’s sake!”  said Snow White.  “We call you that because you dye your hair red,  not because you used to wear that ugly red cloak.”  She was standing in front of  the magic mirror,  trying to see herself  around the idiot who lived in the mirror.  Giving up,  she turned toward the group of  women she had invited for dinner.

“Then why do we call you Snow White?  Your hair’s black!”  Red had been jealous of  Snow ever since she got to marry a prince and live in a castle.

“That’s just her alias”  said a stunning (natural) redhead.

“Yes,  she used to be Cynthia Tedrehan until they caught her on camera trying to rob a fruit stand”  added the gorgeous blonde standing next to her.  I am Snow-White!  And this is my sister,  Rose-Red”  she said pointing to the redhead.  “Does the prince know you’re a felon,  Cindy?”

Belle let out a very un-ladylike snort.

“Ha!  If  her prince doesn’t care about her having lived with seven little men,  why would he care if  she tried to steal some fruit?”

“That was uncalled for.”  said Aurora {aka Sleeping Beauty.}  “You were willing to marry the Beast when you didn’t know he would turn back into a prince.  Talk about kinky!”

Belle shot her a dirty look.

“At least I didn’t marry the prince who raped me while I was sleeping.  You were what?  Seven months pregnant by the time you woke up?”

Aurora took a step toward Belle,  her face bright red.

{Cinder}Ella stepped between them,  putting her arm around Aurora.  {She,  too,  thought Belle was probably a pervert.}

A woman sitting in the corner suddenly cleared her throat.  Everyone turned to her,  but no one recognized the woman with the blonde pixie-cut hairstyle.  “Really,  ladies!  Enough of  this trash-talk!”

Sensing the confusion in the room,  Snow said “Have I told you how much I like your new ‘do,  Rapunzel?”

Belle snorted again.  “The way I heard it,  you’d let your hair down for any Tom,  Dick or Harry when you were locked in the tower.  Did your prince make you cut it before he would marry you?”

Just as it seemed someone was going to take a swing,  the butler appeared.  Ringing a tiny bell,  he said “Dinner is served,  m’ladies.”

This story’s moral ~
careful what you say…    or hope
you’re  ‘saved by the bell’

∙ᶌ∙ Ϡ ∙ᶌ∙

{in the original fairy tales,  all of  the women except one married a prince.  i took poetic license including Little Red Riding Hood since we don’t know if she has married ~ here is my original poem about her posted 23 September 2011}

no innocent

was she

but rather

a devious,

greedy girl

schooled well

in the

ways of

seduction

by grandma

no wolf

stood a

chance

against

her wiles

with the

harmless

old lady

as bait

and

the

woodsman’s axe

coming down

upon

their heads

from behind

next winter

all three

will

stay warm

in

their

new

fur

coats

∙ᶌ∙ Ϡ ∙ᶌ∙


“Little Red Riding Hood”   Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs   {Betty Boop Video}

originally posted  18 March 2012

all images are in the public domain unless otherwise noted
credit for the images as follows ~

‘Little Red Riding Hood silhouette’
Le chaperon rouge, vu par krak

‘Snow White in the mirror’
peter pearson’s flickr photostream

some rights reserved

‘Snow White and the Dwarfs’
by Anne Anderson (1874-1930)

‘Beauty sat down to dinner with the Beast’
by Anne Anderson (1874-1930)

‘Sleeping Beauty and the Prince’
pencil and watercolor 1899

by Henry Meynell Rheam (1859–1920)

‘Rapunzel in her tower’
by John B. Gruelle

From The Project Gutenberg eBook
Grimm’s Fairy Stories
by Jacob Grimm and Wilhelm Grimm
Illustrated by John B. Gruelle and R. Emmett Owen

read the fairy tales on wikipedia.org at these links ~

‘Little Red Riding Hood’

‘Snow-White and Rose-Red’

‘Snow White and the Dwarfs’

‘Beauty and the Beast’

‘Sleeping Beauty’

‘Cinderella’

‘Rapunzel’

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Filed under blog anniversary, Creative Every Day, fantasy, science fiction and horror, haibun, humor, NaBloPoMo, poetry, Post-A-Day, prose, redux

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