•• recipe for a happy, if heavy, holiday •• { fruit cocktail cake/bars }

Santa Claus was having a difficult time
his tummy didn’t seem to fit
down a chimney any more

he said he’d have to put Mrs. Claus
on the naughty list this year

as it was all her wonderful baking
that caused his waistline to expand
{ not to mention his back side! }

but she told him he’d  better
be putting  himself  on the naughty list
if  he didn’t want to be bunking with the elves

’cause nobody had twisted his arm
to make him eat so much!

{ she looked great ~
those new Jane Fonda workout DVDs for seniors
were amazing! }

the elves and the reindeer
kept their opinions to themselves

••

THIS IS A RECIPE THAT MY LATE MOTHER MADE EVERY CHRISTMAS.  EVEN MY DAUGHTER LOVES IT,  THOUGH SHE DOES NOT USUALLY WANT NUTS IN ANYTHING.  THEY REALLY ARE AN INTEGRAL PART OF BOTH THE CAKE AND TOPPING.  IF YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN’T STAND COCONUT,  YOU CAN OMIT IT FROM THE TOPPING.  HEAVEN FORBID!  {SMILE}  I CAN’T GIVE YOU CALORIES/FAT CONTENT/ETC. AND I DON’T THINK YOU’D REALLY WANT TO KNOW.  I SURE DON’T!

RECIPE:   FRUIT COCKTAIL

CAKE/BARS ©

INGREDIENTS:

CAKE:

ONE  EGG
1 & 1/2  CUPS GRANULATED SUGAR

TWO CUPS  ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR
TWO  TABLESPOONS  BAKING SODA
1/2 TEASPOON SALT
ONE TEASPOON VANILLA EXTRACT
17-OUNCE CAN FRUIT COCKTAIL,  DRAINED BUT SAVE THE JUICE FOR THE CAKE
1/2 CUP CHOPPED WALNUTS OR PECANS

TOPPING:

ONE STICK UNSALTED BUTTER OR MARGARINE
2/3 CUP  EVAPORATED MILK

ONE CUP GRANULATED SUGAR
ONE TEASPOON VANILLA EXTRACT
1/4 CUP CHOPPED WALNUTS OR PECANS
1/4 TO 1/2 CUP FLAKED OR SHREDDED COCONUT

DIRECTIONS:

PREHEAT OVEN TO 350°

CAKE:

NOTES:  YOU MAY USE A MIXER OR A WOODEN SPOON TO COMBINE INGREDIENTS.  THERE IS NO OIL/SHORTENING/BUTTER IN THE CAKE ITSELF.  THIS IS NOT A CAKE THAT WOULD WORK AS A LOAF,  CUPCAKES OR IN A ROUND CAKE PAN.

MIX EGG AND SUGAR UNTIL WELL COMBINED.  IN A SEPARATE BOWL, WHISK TOGETHER DRY INGREDIENTS  { FLOUR,  BAKING SODA,  SALT.}  ADD DRY INGREDIENTS TO EGG/SUGAR MIXTURE {ONE-HALF AT A TIME},  MIXING WELL.  ADD VANILLA AND THE DRAINED JUICE FROM THE FRUIT COCKTAIL,  MIXING WELL.   FOLD IN FRUIT COCKTAIL AND CHOPPED NUTS BY HAND WITH SPATULA OR WOODEN SPOON.

FOR CAKE:   POUR BATTER INTO AN UNGREASED  8-INCH BY 12-INCH PAN FOR 30 TO 40 MINUTES.

FOR BARS:  POUR BATTER INTO AN UNGREASED  9-INCH BY 13-INCH PAN FOR 25 TO 30 MINUTES.

COVER CAKE/BARS WITH HOT TOPPING WHILE CAKE IS STILL WARM!

TO MAKE TOPPING:   { WHILE CAKE IS BAKING }

COMBINE ALL INGREDIENTS IN A SAUCEPAN AND BRING TO A BOIL ~ DO NOT LEAVE UNATTENDED!  REDUCE HEAT TO LOW,  COOK FOR 12 MINUTES,  STIRRING CONSTANTLY.  POUR HOT TOPPING OVER WARM CAKE/BARS AND SPREAD EVENLY.

REFRIGERATE OVERNIGHT BEFORE CUTTING INTO CAKE SQUARES OR 1-INCH WIDE BY ONE TO ONE & 1/2-INCH LONG BARS.  KEEP REFRIGERATED FOR UP TO A WEEK OR MORE IN A COVERED OR SEALED CONTAINER ~ EVEN FOIL OVER THE CAKE PAN WILL WORK.

THIS IS SOOOO RICH THAT THE SMALLER BARS ARE SUFFICIENT,  ESPECIALLY IF BEING SERVED WITH OTHER DESSERTS OR COOKIES.  THE TOPPING IS VERY SIMILAR TO A GERMAN CHOCOLATE CAKE TOPPING.


“Santa Claus is Coming to Town”   Ray Charles

image ~ this photo is from Google but it looks very similar to my mother’s cake
{ except she put nuts in the topping, too }

{ fair use }

this is my submission to ~

Foods of  the Season    at   POETRY JAM
prompt:  write about holiday foods
{ include a recipe if  you like }

thank you,  Mary K!

i am also participating in ~

NaBloPoMoSoup

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18 Comments

Filed under humor, NaBloPoMo, poetry, Poetry Jam, Post-A-Day2012, Post-A-Week2012, recipe

18 responses to “•• recipe for a happy, if heavy, holiday •• { fruit cocktail cake/bars }

  1. Oooo…that looks soooo yummy! No wonder Santa put on weight. LOL

    • it’s the kind of cake that makes you want to eat more, but your tummy {and any common sense you have left} will tell you to stop! {smile} thanks for stopping in, Bren!

  2. why do there have to be nuts in evening? makes me sad to miss out. I love the humor of your poem, I.could see the scene. well done.

  3. haha probably a good idea for the elves and reindeer to stay out of that one…lol…fun one dani

  4. Well, I am sure that poor Santa will get even more portly if he eats that delicious cake, as well as eating the cookies everyone provides for him on Christmas Eve. I laughed at Mrs. Santa and her svelte figure from the workout videos. I will copy this recipe, Dani. I do think we had something similar, but your variation really looks good!!

    • it’s easy to make and good to eat, but i don’t want to think about how bad it is for us! i’m glad you got a laugh!

      Happy Holidays, Mary!

  5. peggygoetz

    LOL Dani. I guess Santa managing to eat all those millions of treats on Christmas Eve is one of the mysteries of the season! I like the humor in your poem. My mom made a similar Christmas bar with cherries, coconut and nuts. It was always yummy.

  6. Chuckles, dani! Sure like fun poems! May get the good wife to try out the cake, too!

    Hank

    • i like writing silly poems, Hank. don’t do it often enough. if you try the cake, let me know how you like it. it’s one of my family’s favorites.
      Happy Holidays!

  7. Sounds delicious…..love this poem! Clever and fun!

  8. Ah, I remember working out to Jane Fonda years ago! :) Mrs. Clause should be pleased he appreciates her cooking :) Cute.

    • Santa’s never exactly been what one could call “slim” anyway. {smile} i saw Jane on a talk show recently pitching her exercise videos for seniors. thanks for stopping by, Margaret! ♥

  9. Helen

    Dear Dani,
    I have copied the recipe … cannot wait to make it. My kind of cake ~ for sure! Happy Holidays.

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