/// burning \\ /

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“And she tried to fancy what the flame of  a candle looks like after the candle is blown out,
for she could not remember ever having seen such a thing.”

Lewis Carroll
“Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”
1865

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“Burn the want out of every moment”

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I remember her saying those words
back when we were young
but I can’t remember
what it was to  want  like that

I knew she had to be mine
I had to possess her
but I don’t remember
why

One day she said she had to go
that she wanted more out of  life
but I can’t remember
what I lacked

It was as though her desire for me
had gone out like a candle
but I don’t remember
her leaving

She was gone
as if  never here
but I can’t remember
where I put her

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“Ring of  Fire”   Johnny Cash

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image via google

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this is my submission to ~

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Wonder??? Wednesday #4  at   Poets United
prompt:   Wax


thank you,  Ella!

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Kerry’s Wednesday Challenge    at   imaginary garden with real toads
prompt:   Unreliable Narrator


thank you,  Kerry!

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Wednesday Poetry Prompts: 196   at   Robert Lee Brewer’s Poetic Asides
prompt:    Begin your poem with the line  “Burn the want out of every moment”


Thank you,  Robert!

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i am also participating in ~

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NaBloPoMoSoup

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35 Comments

Filed under imaginary garden with real toads, NaBloPoMo, Poetic Asides, poetry, Poets United, Post-A-Day2012, Post-A-Week2012

35 responses to “/// burning \\ /

  1. A sad poem of having no control of desire. well written

  2. I love this. Beautiful images and words.

  3. Wow…very honest voice in this…believable narration, dani!! Well done…I wrote for PA too the one about the trees….nice combining the prompts here!!

  4. I love the candle image and the quote from Lewis Carroll. As well as all the not remembering………clever.

  5. ellaedge

    oooh, this is creepy good! I love the shape, the quote and how you did this~ It is a magical quality, then the ending yikes!!! Wow, this is sooo good! I love that song ;D

    • great song! thank you for the prompt ~ i’m sorry i misread it, but truth be told, i don’t have any particular memories ‘by candlelight.’ {smile} and thank you for your kind comment, Ella! ♥

  6. Very interesting metaphor and cool poem. Describes that longing so well. k.

  7. I knew she had to be mine
    I had to possess her
    but I don’t remember
    why

    Some things just cannot be explained. A thoughtful poem! You have a lot of artistic streak in you. Your presentation revealed so.

    Hank

  8. She was gone
    as if never here
    but I can’t remember
    where I put her

    I LOVE that.

  9. This narrative certainly raises several questions in the reader’s mind: who is at fault for the failed relationship?
    i loved the way you brought in the image of the candle flame brought out. It worked so well in aiding our understanding of the emotions involved.

  10. Flame/flame playing on words–you reveal the bewilderment of someone caught in a whirlwind of love, indeed the flame might have been as brief as a falling star and equally out of personal control. I feel for her. (Why, listening to Cash, am I thinking “WIll you Light my Candle?” from RENT?)

  11. First of all, Dani, thanks for giving me my morning dose of Johnny Cash. “Ring of Fire” is one of my all time favorites. In fact, I have that song performed by half a dozen artists in my playlist!

    Now… the poem… really good write. You tell from the protagonists perspective how inconsiderate, thoughtless he/she was. Could that have led to the leaving? LOL!

  12. peggygoetz

    I like how you carried the candle image through this. The poem definitely conveys the sense of some kind of diminished capacity.

  13. A strong poem here, Dani. Actually it is one of my favorites of yours. Sometimes it is better if a person can’t remember some things, don’t you think? Such as what you ‘lacked.’

  14. margaretbednar

    Just so delicious … I love that you were inspired by the quote and wove it through this poem. I think it is one of your best.

  15. Memory is usually unreliable…

  16. A very powerful poem which captures the spirit of the prompt…

    Eileen :)

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