∙ͽ∙•ϿϾ•∙∙ left alone ∙∙•ϿϾ•∙ͼ∙

∙ ϿϾ ∙

∙∙•ϿϾ•∙∙

∙ͽ∙ ϿϾ ∙ͼ∙

she  knew

every  night  when  he  came  home

he’d  knock  her  around  then  pass  out

people  began to  notice  she  was  smiling  all  the  time

  but  he

was  absent  forevermore

∙ͽ∙ ϿϾ ∙ͼ∙

∙∙•ϿϾ•∙∙

∙ͼ∙

∙ͼ∙

i actually wrote the second poem first,  using some prompts which do not appear in the top poem.  suddenly, i decided it did not have enough conflict to satisfy Mama Zen’s prompt at  ‘imaginary garden with real toads’  so i rewrote it above.  please don’t feel obligated to read both poems.

∙ͼ∙

∙ͼ∙

∙∙•ϿϾ•∙∙

∙ͽ∙ ϿϾ ∙ͼ∙

his  sudden  absence  frightened  her

he’d  proved  himself   the  foundation  of   her  life

she  didn’t  know  what  to  do

wishful  thinking  made  her  wait  for  his  return

she’s  waiting

…still

∙ͽ∙ • ϿϾ • ∙ͼ∙

∙ͽ∙ ϿϾ ∙ͼ∙

∙∙•ϿϾ•∙∙

∙ ϿϾ ∙

∙ͼ∙

∙ͼ∙

∙ͼ∙

∙ͼ∙

yes, this is the Britney Spears song but a totally different arrangement!

“( Hit Me) Baby One More Time”    Marty Casey

∙ͼ∙

∙ͼ∙

artwork:   { public domain }

top image ~  “Woman on a Terrace”   Edgar Degas
bottom image ~  “Old Woman”   George Luks

∙ͼ∙

∙ͼ∙

this is my submission to ~

∙ͼ∙

Words Count With Mama Zen   at    imaginary garden with real toads
prompt:  provide conflict in 30 words or less


thank you,  Mama Zen!

∙ͼ∙

Carry On Tuesday # 175    at     Carry on Tuesday
prompt:   the title of a song from 1983 by the English New Wave band China CrisisWishful thinking…
{ this is my second,  better try}


thank you,  Keith!

∙ͼ∙

Theme Thursday 4 October 2012     at     Theme Thursday
prompt:   foundation


thank you,   Mrsupole!

∙ͼ∙

Prompt  240   at   One Single Impression
prompt:   Absent
{ this is my second attempt with this prompt, too}


thank you,  Sandra!

∙ͼ∙

Wednesday Poetry Prompts: 195   at   Robert Lee Brewer’s Poetic Asides
prompt:    write a  “sudden”  poem


Thank you,  Robert!

∙ͼ∙

∙ͼ∙

i am also participating in ~

∙ͼ∙

NaBloPoMoSoup

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∙ͼ∙

∙ͼ∙

∙ͼ∙

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24 Comments

Filed under Carry on Tuesday, imaginary garden with real toads, NaBloPoMo, One Single Impression, Poetic Asides, poetry, Post-A-Day2012, THEME THURSDAY

24 responses to “∙ͽ∙•ϿϾ•∙∙ left alone ∙∙•ϿϾ•∙ͼ∙

  1. Hi Dani,
    Yes, this does leave one wondering?! ;D
    Clever…I think I need to redo mine~
    I love Marty Casey
    I was so into this show
    Wish it would come back~

    • i found the old Rock Star videos on you tube {i searched Rock Star TV show} and have been listening to Marty Casey all night. {smile} just finished my post for your Wonder Wednesday at Poets United, hoping i can get there in time to link it in. ♥ wrote that one two complete times, too, but trashed the first version. {giggle} maybe i need some sleep since it’s almost ten a.m. thanks for stopping by, Ella! *hugs*

  2. Helen

    Both poems ~~ beautifully written, Dani.

  3. Both of these are excellent!

  4. sounds like he might be one not too many people miss anyway…smiles…ugh on abusers….they suck

  5. I can feel the conflict in both-it’s just more apparent in the first posted one. Both tell a good story!

  6. Can’t beat the power of the first in its empowerment–or the truth of the second.

  7. It is funny in that when you read the first one you are thinking that she had a hand in his disappearance and when you read the second poem it seems as if he was the love of her life and she cannot understand what could possibly have happened to him. But then when you put them together you realize that many abused women feel about their abusers the way you wrote about in the second poem. That is how abusers get away with it. The abused person feels they deserve what is being done to them. I think if more abusers disappeared then maybe there would be less abuse.

    Funny how I wrote about abuse too, and not even sure why I would think of it with this prompt.

    Happy Theme Thursday and I hope you have a great weekend.

    God bless.

    • since i wrote the second one first, i really didn’t notice how it could be a continuation of the first ~ thanks for pointing that out to me! {smile} i appreciate your visit and your prompt! have a lovely weekend! ♥

  8. It is hard to imagine the fear so many women experience as a result of abusive relationships – your words put us there in her shoes.

    • i was making the rounds of other poetry blogs tonight and there was one poem on abuse and five poems on the atrocities committed against women and girls around the world. it’s heart wrenching! thanks for stopping by, Kerry! ♥

  9. So sad, she must stop waiting for him, I think…

  10. it seems to me there is a lot of conflict in the second poem. more edginess to it too. the first seems to have all the conflict settled. maybe i’m not seeing this right.

    a terrible state to be in regardless. aloha.

    • the second poem is the one i wrote first then i thought maybe the conflict wasn’t overt enough. {smile} and i don’t think there’s any “right” or “wrong” way to read poetry. isn’t it supposed to be interpreted by the reader? thank you for your visit and i love your comment, Rick!

      • oh. aloha Dani – yes I agree, we each bring our own world to a poem when we read it – and that affects how we see the poetry. I like that.

        I wasn’t very clear in what I meant – I thought may be it was the way I was seeing “conflict” that was questionable.

        yeah, I work a lot with haiku and I’m beginning to see how effective something that is subtle can work. maybe that is why I liked what I was seeing as a powerful conflict in the second one (the first one you wrote). I think it is subtle but it has the potential to go on and on. where in the revised version I feel like the conflict is settled. both work. but it is easier to leave that second version as settled in my mind. where the first version leaves me exploring years into the future. I like that. I hope I’m making sense. aloha

  11. So many women live behind closed doors in such relationships. Tragic.

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