••·• mommie dearest •·••

·

·

{ you might think this is fiction but you’d be wrong }

·

i  knew  i was dreaming
just like  SHE

knew

she had died

EVERYONE

knew she couldn’t  really  be alive

but she wasn’t finished
she wasn’t ready to let go

i  knew  i was dreaming
……..i  knew  i was dreaming
but that didn’t make it  ANY  less  real

she wasn’t
finished
punishing

she wasn’t finished
……with me

never  ̭  estimate
…….under…….

the fury

of  a mother scorned
{ in her view,
and that’s all that ever really mattered}

night

after

night

• • •

week

after

week

after

week

••

•••

UNrelenting

haunting my sleep

haunting my soul

i  knew  i was dreaming
……..i  knew  i was dreaming
but that didn’t make it  ANY  less  real

you see,  they weren’t just dreams…
they weren’t just nightmares…

my mother came back to haunt me

i could feel her glee
i could taste her venom
i couldn’t get her to

leave

ME

ALONE!!!

i  screamed at her in the dreams

i  screamed at her as  i  was waking

i  screamed at her for hours afterward  ~

enough!

•••

i  knew  i was dreaming
……..i  knew  i was dreaming
but that didn’t make it  ANY  less  real

finally….    finally….
calmly….    quietly….
i  told her she had succeeded
….that she got what she wanted

….i  heard  her
….i  understood  her anger
….there was nothing more for her to do
{ but i  never said that she was right }
{ i  never said that  i was sorry }

she’s been gone for awhile now
but i  still don’t like to go to sleep
’cause  i know she’ll be back…..

and  i won’t give her the satisfaction of  thinking she surprised me
and i  won’t say  i’m sorry
and neither will she…..
{ like mother,  like daughter }

••

•••

••••


“Haunted”   Evanescence

this is my submission to ~

Mary’s Mixed Bag   at   imaginary garden with real toads
prompt:   dreams and nightmares


thank you,  Mary!

The Poetry Pantry #103     at     Poets United
submit a new or old poem


thank you,  Mary!

Prompt #324  at  Sunday Scribblings
prompt:    parent


thank you,  Megg!

i am also participating in ~

NaBloPoMoSoup

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32 Comments

Filed under imaginary garden with real toads, NaBloPoMo, poetry, Poets United, Post-A-Day2012, Post-A-Week2012, Sunday Scribblings

32 responses to “••·• mommie dearest •·••

  1. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times…no wire hangers! Ever!!!!

    You know I understand this one, Sista Poet.

  2. Whew, this is a vivid and disconcerting description of your recurring nightmare! I like the way you arranged the words to effectively build up emotion. I hope that there will eventually be a way that this nightmare can be squelched so that you can get some PEACEFUL sleep!

  3. Phew!~!
    That is some nightmare. I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I do hope you can and do, sleep now. The one I described had so much more to it than what I wrote in my piece too. But, they only have that power if we give it to them Dani, don’t allow her to ruin your life any more than she already did.
    Parents need to know how much they damage their children’s minds by their thoughtless deeds or, actions. I can only imagine why she behaved the way she did with you. But, if you can step outside of the pain, and try to imagine what made her the way she was, maybe it will help you understand a bit more why she did what she did. Look at it from all different aspects of why, and then you will eventually come to peace yourself. I hope she does wherever she is now.

  4. Not to be a jerk, but I found that, for me, the font and background selection made the words very difficult to see and that negatively impacted my ability to appreciate this serious poem. Sorry.

    • the white on black does bother some people ~ if you are ever kind enough to visit again, Danny, you might want to view my blog in a reader where it is black type on a white background. {smile}

  5. The lay out adds to the feeling of fear..and chaos..but finally..there is control..great write..jae

  6. Powerful imagery and subject matter. I love the layout that gave the feeling of it going on and on as your words so well describe. I especially enjoyed the finish! To all the people for whom mother isn’t a memory of endearment, you speak so well!
    ~Josie Two Shoes~
    Two Shoes In Texas 

  7. An emotional and pain-filled read. Well done with the structure adding to the drama.

  8. Wow! This is a potent piece of writing… it has left me quite breathless and trembling: such rage and guilt beyond the grave. This is definitely one recurring dream which needs to be exorcised for good.

  9. An awesome write that can ONLY be , sadly, all too true. You cant make this stuff up, I always say! Life gives us weirder stuff than we can invent. Ack! Horrible to have one’s rest poached. Exhausting. Love the way you placed the words on the page. This entire poem really really works. Love the photo, too! Hee hee.

    (I have a weird sense of humor…I could have commented as Mommie Dearest and freaked you right out. But I didnt:))

  10. Helen

    OMG … the intensity of your poem was absolutely chilling! Great writing, difficult subject.

  11. Wow! This is such a heartfelt piece. I could feel your pain and emotion as you wrote about your dream. I found the way you wrote it was very effective relaying the building emotion as you went along.

  12. goodness dani, this is intense and vivid and rather frightening…your structure plays well with the tale as well…i kinda wish it was fiction for you….

  13. This is seriously chilling.

  14. Very powerful imagery, dani … especially since it comes from your inner self. I finally realized and came to terms — my mom should not have been a mom, but she did/does the best she couldn with what she has/had to work with. So much therapy is needed, but at 92 — no chance. It is up to me, in how I react to her and to those memories. Some days are easier than others — and she can still push my buttons, but thankfully, not as often!!

    Sending you healing light of Divine Love!! xo

  15. I can relate, so well, and I love your form. The letting her know you heard, without actually giving up anything is so true! GREAT poem. Wow…

  16. Fabulous!
    I wasn’t going to read it…but then my eyes followed the lines, and the architecture warped, and the refrains reigned me in, and I was in a haunted house. Having fun. Imagine that.

    I enjoyed this immensely.

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