Burt the bunnie

Burt was having a baaaaad day.

he overslept  {again}  and had to leave without breakfast;  on the way to work he was almost hit by a truck;  when his boss called him into his office….  well….   Burt got so nervous that he couldn’t control his bowels { pellets fucking  E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. }

that was enough to push his boss beyond patience.  { being a Main Coon cat, his boss did not accept that one could not “hold” it until reaching a litter box .}  { Burt knew he had to restrain himself and not eat the cecotropes.* }  Burt’s boss barely tolerated any of  the Lagomorpha, forced on him under the Equal Employment Opportunity Act.  Burt’s chronic lateness, and now defecating in public,  gave him grounds to fire Burt without severance pay.  the German Shepherd security guards escorted Burt off the property immediately.

it was fortunate that the morning rush hour was over by then because Burt crossed the street in a daze.  he couldn’t go home to the burrow and face Barbie with the news of  his unemployment.  {  not to mention the twenty-four children still living at home. }   Burt went into every business from one end of  town to the other asking if  they were hiring.  he was mortified when his stomach began growling in front of  an attractive young cottontail rabbit receptionist.

ears drooping and dragging, Burt went into the meadow behind the shops and office buildings to graze.  he  had hardly begun eating when a strange scent reached his nostrils.  Burt thumped his back foot to warn any warrens beneath the meadow then froze, hoping the strange creature approaching wouldn’t notice him among the tall summer grass.   it was coming straight for him and was bigger than anything Burt had ever seen.  at the last possible second, Burt jumped straight up forty feet into the air.

B O I N G !

B O I N G !

B O I N G !

Burt was halfway across the meadow in three hops.  he only stopped when he heard a familiar voice calling his name.   a German Shepherd who used to work at the factory came running up to him.  “Burt!  dude!  i didn’t know you could jump that high!”   Burt said he didn’t know he could either, but it was either get out of  the way or be stepped on by that giant grey animal.   “you mean Eddie…. the elephant over there?  he wouldn’t hurt a fly.  we work at the circus that just set up on the other side of  the meadow.  man, you should come with us.  i bet they’d hire you as one of  the sideshow acts if  you can jump that high without being scared into it.”   Burt tried it just to make sure and was even able to do a little dance mid-jump.  his day was finally looking up.

that night the sideshow had a new act that was a real money-maker ~ not only did they charge admission, they also had a little action on the side for those who wanted to guess how high Burt would hop.




“Bunny Hop”    Ray Anthony 

*cecotropes: one of two kinds of feces passed by rabbits from previously ingested food which must then be re-eaten to extract the nutrients which were encased in a mucous lining during the first passage through their digestive system. you can read more on rabbits (Lagomorpha) HERE

this is my submission to ~

Onomato – Poetics     at    dVerse ~ Poets Pub  a FABulous site for poets!
prompt:    use an onomatopoeia
{read Sheila’s fabulous post to learn all about them}

i am also participating in ~




Filed under dVerse ~ Poets Pub, haibun, haikū, NaBloPoMo, poetry

22 responses to “Burt the bunnie

  1. boy i have never been quite so glad not to be a bunny…having to eat my feces….hmm….dont think even ketchup would fix that…smiles…really a cute tale of burt dani….hope that he makes it an is not exploited as a sideshow…

  2. goodness..so he left barbie and the 24 little bunnies to go with the circus…haha…loved the story telling …and the boing..boing..boing…

  3. oh wow! BOING!!! What an entertaining bunny tale! LOL! Poor Burt. What a hoot!

  4. More bunnies!!! I love Burt, and am glad his day looked up…it couldn’t have got much worse! I cracked up completely at the line about the 24 babies still living at home.

    • {smile} Burt’s been hanging around with my muse for a few weeks now, and they finally decided to let me in on the story. ♥ at least Burt didn’t get eaten!

  5. What a jump…cute bunny..he..he…

    Hope you having a good day ~

  6. That’s great! What a story!

  7. Now, this is creative!

  8. hedgewitch

    Hilarious, dani!! I’m so glad there was a creative happy ending for Burt and his brood.

  9. This is adorable! It warmed my heart that Burt got a job where he was the main attraction!

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