۰ ỡ ۰ take pity on me ۰ ỡ ۰

Photograph courtesy of  Ainsley Allmark     “Moonrise – Fool Moon”

۰ ỡ ۰

gazing at the moon

but seeing your face instead

i ache with longing

the wind takes pity on me

and carries my love to you

ỡ ۰ Ỡ ۰ ỡ 

my thanks to   One Single Impression   for using my prompt suggestion   “wind”

i would like to thank    Ainsley Allmark     {  @DolphinDancer  }  for kindly allowing me to use his beautiful    photograph   “Moonrise – Fool Moon”   from his    twitpic photostream.  Please click on any of  the    Dolphin    links in the blogrolls at the bottom of  the page to see more of his stunning photographs and amazing poetry.

this is my submission for ~

Prompt 173   at   One Single Impression
prompt:   wind


Post A Day


from One Stop Poetry Form ~

Today the standard form is generally noted as (in syllables) 5-7-5-7-7.

A tanka is not one poem, but two. It’s a combination of two poems, or thoughts, etc.  The first three lines are called  Kami-no-ku (upper poem). The last two lines of 7-7 is called Shim-no-ku, (lower poem). They are joined by that middle pivot line, called kakekotoba.

The kakekotobais a pivot or bridge between the two main poems.  It should be part of the upper verse AND the lower verse in thought or poetry.  The pivot line is both the last image and end of the upper verse as well as the first image and beginning of the lower verse.  Both poems, read divided…the top from the bottom, should be able to stand on its own.

(Tanka usually has no punctuation, but that varies.) A tanka usually  contains a Kigo which is a word that reveals the season without saying it.  In the example above, perhaps the ‘red maple’ gives a hint of the season.

This last unit of 7-7 is used as a repetition or summary of the top poem.  I think of this shim-no-ku more as a re-enforcement or continuation of the sentiment of the whole poem…..Read More



Filed under love, micropoetry, One Single Impression, photographs, poetry, tanka, the moon

20 responses to “۰ ỡ ۰ take pity on me ۰ ỡ ۰

  1. Thank you dani ♥ for using my photograph in this lovely way – and thank you for your lovely poem – my image and your words go together so beautifully…thank you ♥

    • thank you for so generously allowing me the use of your photographs, Ainsley. ♥ and i felt the photograph was perfect ~ stunning! ♥

  2. Such a huge emotion within those few words Dani…great choice of the pic!

  3. Romantic words said just right.
    Thanks for a fun prompt.

  4. This poem speaks volumes and I love your ending.

    The picture is stunning. I’ve actually seen the moon like this a couple of years ago on holiday in the Caribbean. It was so big, bright and low in the sky that I felt I could reach out and touch it.

    Very nice!

    • the photographer, Ainsley Allmark, lives in Cornwall in the U.K. and has stunning photographs of sunsets and the moon and the sea that will make you want to go there. thank you for your kind comment.

  5. A perfect capture of melancholy night, my friend. Those reflection moments – they can consume a person.

  6. A beautiful piece!

    Thank you for this wonderful prompt. I had fun working with it.

  7. Beautiful – often an overused, but appropriate here – work. Perfect in its execution.

  8. Meant to write: “… often an overused WORD, but. appropriate. . .”

  9. This is very beautiful…yes, wind does carry the love all the way.. And thanks Dani for the lovely flowing prompt.. I could make two entries…. hope you liked them..

    • thank you, Ramesh! i’ve been having computer problems but hope to visit everyone by tomorrow. i appreciate you not only using my suggested prompt, but also for visiting and commenting.

i'd love to hear from you ♥ thanks! {comments must be approved before they are visible}

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