·•≥¤≤•· #5lines and a review of “Ask And Ye Shall Receive” {a blog reviewing site}

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i just found a site called   .   Ask And Ye Shall Receive   .   which is a site strictly for reviewing other sites.  i read through their  .   FAQ   .   and i dared to submit my blog for review.  in order to have one’s blog reviewed by “them”  one must agree to link to their review.  therefore, i decided to review their site before they review my site.  if  they give me a good review, no one can say that’s why i reviewed their site because i have no clue if  they’ll give me a favorable review or not.  if  they give me a bad review,  i can say it’s because they didn’t like my review of their site. what qualifies me to review their site?  i’m not claiming to be qualified.  if  you don’t like it, don’t read it. oh, and one of  their reviewers is an attorney so they may sue me for reviewing their site without permission. (a) i have no assets (b) their site is on blogger. all the good blogs are on wordpress. ok…..maybe not all, but still….  {now i may get sued by blogger, too}{i guess i just like to live dangerously}{did i mention i have no assets?}

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WARNING:  some of  the following language may be offensive to some people. most of  it is from the  Ask And Ye Shall Receive  site, not from me.

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they do blog reviews in order to “improve the quality of the blogosphere”  according to their views of  what makes a good blog. {ROTFLMFAO}{in case you haven’t figured it out yet, all comments within the { } brackets are from me.}

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who are they?  i quote  “The reviewers here have all blogged for a number of years.  We write.  We have rockin’ templates.  We’ve been reviewed (some nice, some scathing).  We’ve learned a lot.”   {personally, i don’t think the template for  Ask And Ye Shall Receive  particularly rocks, but i do like the red, black and white.} {see my blog}{which i think looks much better than theirs.}{and which i think qualifies as “rockin” – you may disagree, but it’s all subjective, isn’t it?}

if  you go to their page  .  “Reviewers”   .  they provide sort of  bios on some of  their reviewers. here’s what stood out to me:

Shinerpunch ~  “When in doubt, be shiny.”  {true}

Madame Bellicose ~ under favorites, she listed “cuddling.” {always good} { i expect her to say my sidebar is cluttered. i don’t give a shit what her opinion is.}

Scorpio Woperchild ~ {i’m a Scorpio}

Johnny Raptor ~ {the pipe is a nice touch}

Shagnasty ~ {what more do you need than the name Shagnasty?}

RedPen Reaper ~ {he admits to feeling like a wanker}

NutjobberTell us about yourself:  I am a donkey made of chocolate.  {i love chocolate}

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click  .   HERE   .   to see their ranking system {or just look below}

Our scale of terrific-ness. You can get from one to four stars of finger bangin’ love.
Our scale of fucking die. You may receive a hunk of burning hate that ranges from the slight tingle of a single finger to four fingers burning you at the stake. For shame, you asshole!
We meant to rate you, really we did, but we fell asleep reading your shit. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. snore.
You blog, therefore you’re introspective and cool. You’re cultured and worldly and you obviously have every right to besmirch the web with your crap. Uh, not really, poseur.
If you need this explained, well, get the fuck on board and we’ll give you your helmet shortly.
Four stars couldn’t do you justice! You rock it like a hurricane, and if you’re single, we’d love to do you doggy style. Rawr!
Move away from the keyboard, slowly, and no one will get hurt.

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more from their  .   FAQ  .  page:

Do you have any hard/fast blog rules?

Yes.  Here are a few:

1. Title it.  {duh}
2. Keep the same font throughout the blog.  {who cares except anal-retentive font freaks?}
3. Post on a regular basis (at least once a week).  
4. Give some introductory background of who you are and what you are doing so I don’t have to read for an hour to figure that shit out.  {oh, like THEY gave so much actual background of  who THEY are?}{i’m not writing a blog about ME. it’s a poetry (mostly) blog. people come to read the posts.  isn’t that why you’re here?}
5. NO AUTOPLAY MUSIC. NEVER, EVER, EVER. UGH.  {agreed}
6. Get a template/layout that makes it easier for people to figure out what the hell you are doing.  {huh?}
7.  Write your ass off.  When it comes right down to it, the blogs we like are all about the writing.  Our favorite bloggers lay their guts on the line, they make us spew coffee on our monitors, they shock us, they are sometimes the trainwreck that causes us to hit the rear end of the vehicle in front of us.  Just, WRITE. {WTF are they doing reading when they’re driving? only idiots and assholes do that.}

…..Read More

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i would put one of  their badge/button/whatever it’s called doohickies in my sidebar, but Madame Bellicose hates cluttered sidebars.  actually, if  they review my site, i’ll put one up.  until then, why should i give them any more free advertising than this post?

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i was entertained enough by their site to submit my blog for their review. i really don’t give a shit what they think, but this was fun. thanks for reading.

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i see nothing remarkable about their site title one way or the other  .   Ask And Ye Shall Receive   .  but i think their actual URL is a bit pretentious ~

http://iwillfuckingtearyouapart.blogspot.com/

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oh, if  you want to submit your blog for review too,  go  .   HERE.

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in order to participate in May 2011:  International 5 Line Poetry Month, here is my poem for today~

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artwork by Shepard Fairey

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generations now have begged

make love not war

make art not war

i wish

someone would listen

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i would like to pay my utmost respect to every man and woman who has ever been willing to risk their own safety for that of  others.  no matter the century,  the uniform,  the country.

i have nothing but words to honor those who gave their lives or were injured or suffered from the mental and emotional stress that the realities of  war would bring to any sane person.

i wish there were no wars, but i am grateful to those who fight.

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i am participating in ~

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May 2011  .  at  .  NaBloPoMo
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Post A Day

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May 2011: International 5 Line Poetry Month
sponsored by  .  Tina Nguyen .  at  A wish for the sky…
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Gogyohka

this poem is a gogyohka. Gogyohka is five lines of free verse on any subject matter. There is no set syllable pattern, however the poem should be short and succinct. The goal is to compellingly capture an idea, observation, feeling, memory, or experience in just a few words….Read More at  Gogyohka Junction

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6 Comments

Filed under 5 Line Poetry Month #5lines, gogyohka, micropoetry, NaBloPoMo, poetry, Post-A-Day2011, review

6 responses to “·•≥¤≤•· #5lines and a review of “Ask And Ye Shall Receive” {a blog reviewing site}

  1. nice…i like your verse and i am intrigued by the service…might check it out…

    • thanks, Brian. you may want to wait and see the review they do of my site before submitting your own. only because i get the feeling they enjoy writing bad reviews of poetry blogs. {smile}

  2. Enjoyed this. I know I am not brave enough to submit my blog for review there….it seems like a very scary place. Good luck hunny! xoxo

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