ٶ ףּ ٷ who plays with the bluebells? {Revised} ٶ ףּ ٷ

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Photograph  .   courtesy of   .   Ainsley Allmark   .

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faerie castles or bells for elves?

fragile little flowers that sing

a tale of  magic as they ring

ٶ ףּ ٷ

you’ll not find the faeries and elves

unless they see your heart is free

then they’ll hand you some bells themselves

ٶ ףּ ٷ

for bluebells can be ev’rything

faerie castles and bells for elves

ٶ ףּ ٷ

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i would like to thank  Ainsley Allmark  .  for his generosity in allowing me to use his beautiful  .  photograph.  .  be sure to check his truly gorgeous photographs in his  .  twitpic photostream.  Please click on any of  the  .  Dolphin  .  links in the blogroll at the bottom of  the page to see more of his stunning photographs and amazing poetry.

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i am participating in ~

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May 2011  .  at  NaBloPoMo
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Post A Day

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this is my submission for ~

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Poetry Potluck  .  at  .  Jingle Poetry
prompt:   Fortresses, Castles, Palaces and Royal Houses
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Prompt #267  .  at  .   Sunday Scribblings
prompt:   Surrender
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One Stop Monday Poetry Forms  .  at  .  One Stop Poetry

Octain Refrain  .  invented by    Luke Prater  { @Lukes_WordSalad  }

please visit his blog  .  WordSalad: Luke Prater’s Poetry Weblog
just click on Octain in his tag cloud to see example of his poems in this form.
You’ll find more help though at  .  One Stop Monday Poetry Form – Octains

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Octain Refrain

Structure:

eight lines as two tercets (three-line stanzas) and a couplet, eight syllables per line with the first line repeated (as much as possible) as the last. Meter is iambic or trochaic tetrameter, but fine to just count eight syllables per line for those who prefer that.

Rhyme scheme:

A-b-b
a-c/c-a
b-A

(A = repeated refrain line. ‘c/c’ refers to line five having midline (internal) rhyme, which is different to the a- and b-rhymes)…..Read More  at  One Stop Poetry

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16 Comments

Filed under Jingle Poetry, NaBloPoMo, octain refrain, one stop poetry, photographs, poetry, poetry form, Post-A-Day2011, Sunday Scribblings

16 responses to “ٶ ףּ ٷ who plays with the bluebells? {Revised} ٶ ףּ ٷ

  1. sweet message,
    faith is important,
    fear free,
    thanks for sharing.
    :)

    • thank you, sweet Jingle! ♥ i had to alter those lines as i was off in the rhyme scheme. i hope if you reread it that you’ll be happy with the changes. ♥

  2. Love how whimsical this is. Excellent poem! :D

    • thank you, Matt! i have a really difficult time not losing what i want to say when i’m trying to rhyme so i’m very grateful for your kind comment.

  3. oh this is beautiful dani – love the image and the form looks good as well..only thing – in line 7 you have only 7 syllables

    • ah…that “everything” ~ i vacillated on if most people pronounced it as ev-er-y-thing or ev-ry-thing. easy to solve – i just took the second e out. {smile} thank you for taking the time to read my poem and thank you for the lovely comment, Claudia. ♥ much appreciated, dear. ♥

  4. Hi –

    Some nice imagery here and a great theme – firstly I should just say though that lines four six needs to rhyme with line one (elves, rather than disappear/fear) for this to follow the Octain rhyme-scheme. Aside from this (which is easily editable), you got the form, and used it as a vehicle for a nice piece of poetry.

    I like poetry about the fey folk, elves etc, not enough of it about in my opinion. Spiritual/Pagan orientated poetry should be more common than it is (as opposed to religious poetry). I especially like your opening tercet, it sets up the Narrative nicely –

    faerie castles or bells for elves?
    fragile little flowers that sing
    a tale of magic as they ring

    Good stuff. Glad you gave this one a try my friend!

    Cheers

    Luke

    • thank you, Luke! i am totally uneducated in writing of any kind. this is my first attempt at writing a poem with a set rhyming scheme. i made the corrections {or i hope i did} and i like it better now ~ thank you for your assistance. and thank you for your very kind comments. ♥

  5. I read the title and immediately answered — fairies, of course!!! Lovely duo!!! :–)

    • thank you, Becca! ♥ youre very kind. i actually thought of you and a couple of other poets who i knew would guess from the title.

  6. A beautiful and well done example of an octain, Love it!

  7. You are so professional now, I so admire of how deeply you are into every aspect of poetry. It’s like you’ve opened up your entire heart and soul and have let it all in, then you turn around and pour it out. Your pen must burst into flames at times…..In awe of what you continue to do here. Love you hunny….so much……for always. xoxo

    • thank you, sweetheart! ♥ you know how much i value your opinion. i have met so many talented people on twitter and on blogs. there just isn’t time to get to everyone as often as i want. i’m hoping to find a way for visitors here to discover more writers, photographers, artists and poets like you. ♥

  8. Hi Dani –

    How would you feel about me including your Octain in a thread I have running on Facebook – nearing 100 mark now – © retained by you of course and I will tag you in it so you can see all Octains written so far if you’re on FB, if not I can email you the entire thing if you like. My FB is on my sidebar on my blog. If not no worries :))

    Kind regards

    Luke

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