∙◦Ͽ◦∙ autumn memories ∙◦Ͼ◦∙

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autumn memories

timid waves inching forward

as we fell in love

shy beginnings of  our lust

tender kisses on the beach

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water on warm sand

cool air around fervant need

our desire building

summer’s exit unnoticed

love’s flames all that we could see

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walking hand-in-hand

in the sunset of  our lives

autumn memories

wishing we could turn back time

start the journey once again

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this is my attempt at  Man’yoshu Japanese Poetry  ~  Somon:  mutual exchanges of love or longing poetry;  tanka:  (5-7-5-7-7)   i wrote this as a love song between a man and a woman  { though it would apply to any couple,  no matter their gender }  the lines in italics are  her speaking and the plain text lines are  him speaking.  though this is given voice by two people,  i still tried to maintain the  “pivot line”  ( the third line of  each verse )  which can be read as the last line of  a verse comprised of  the  first three lines of  the tanka,  or as the  first line of  a verse made up of  only the last three lines of  each tanka.   so just to complicate this even more,  you can read it as entirely one poem;  you can read  her  lines  and  his  lines  or  you can read it  as the  first three lines of  each stanza/tanka  and then the last three lines of  each one.

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“Something”   George Harrison

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this is my submission to ~

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My Thoughts on Tanka (Part 3) ~ Hisashi Nakamura   at    imaginary garden with real toads
prompt:   write one or more tanka ~  hopefully my attempt conforms to at least some of  the characteristics laid out in the series  ( in Parts 1 & 2  of  this series,  previously written tanka were also allowed  for submission }


thank you,  Kerry!

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first  posted  3 November 2011  and  again  1 July 2012

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originally inspired by and submitted to ~

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Form For All    at    dVerse ~ Poets Pub
prompt:   Man’yoshu Japanese Poetry  ~  Somon:  mutual exchanges of love or longing poetry;  tanka:  (5-7-5-7-7)
{thank you, Gay Reiser Cannon and Jane Kohut-Bartels aka Lady Nyo.}

The Thursday Think Tank #73     at     Poets United
prompt:   “The Waning Days of Fall”
image above by Ella Wilson  { i saw it as waves lapping along a beach }

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“Something”   George Harrison

lyrics:

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22 Comments

Filed under Creative Every Day, imaginary garden with real toads, love, lust, NaBloPoMo, poetry, Post-A-Day2013, Post-A-Week2013, redux, tanka

22 responses to “∙◦Ͽ◦∙ autumn memories ∙◦Ͼ◦∙

  1. This is really lovely, Dani!

  2. I love how these flow into each other…intertwining passionate pulses of poem. Excellent, dani! ♥

  3. theartfulcodger

    Beautiful sentiments and I love the way it flows….

  4. gotta love it when you get to the end and want to ride it all over again….but in this that makes for a beautiful relationship….smiles.

    • i love the idea of a long-term relationship where the love continues to grow (not to say it wouldn’t take work) ~ i’m in the first healthy relationship of my life so i need a couple more decades at least to reach that point. {smile}

  5. I really enjoyed the progression of these tanka, from youth to age, through the seasons. In the last, you have captured those ‘after the passion’ moments of stillness that can occur between lovers too.

  6. I’m trying to promote Oriental blank-page poetry. To do it, you take a blank page and compose zero lines of zero, zero, and zero syllables. Then throw it away. Think it will replace haiku??? :-P

    • are haikū even being written anymore? of course, these are tanka which are nothing like haikū. and i do occasionally write a senryū, but again, that’s different from a haikū. {grin} i already do the Oriental blank-page poetry, i just thought it was called having writer’s block. ♥

  7. Lovely and sweet… love the sense of love you create in the tanka..

  8. ellaedge

    I also am captivated, by your series of seasons reflected in love and life. It is an intimate dance and so well done! Bravo dani…I love this one~
    Gorgeous!! @>——————-

  9. So beautiful…love definitely has seasons…I know from my own marriage of 43 years. I so love George Harrison’s song also….beautiful pairing.

  10. romantic and tender, dani ~ M

  11. Helen

    Sheer perfection, Dani! Each tanka verse touched my heart.

talk to me, baby ♥ ♥ ♥ {comments must be approved before they are visible}

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