ษ
∙ ษ ∙
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in one day
i built a diorama of Rome
it took another twenty-four hours
to rediscover the lost city of Atlantis
although i forgot
to mark the spot with an ‘X’
the third day
from moonset to moonrise
i rode on a dinghy
alas, it concentrically went in circles
for there was but one oar to be found
days four, five and six
i left the Earth’s atmosphere
floating just past Jupiter
in a hot air balloon
i fell back to Earth on the seventh day
then got up and walked away
∙ฉ∙ ษ ∙๘∙
ฉ ษ ๘
∙ ษ ∙
ษ
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*abrégée ~ i have abbreviated this from the original in the hope that it flows better now
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original longer version ~
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in one day
i built a diorama of Rome
it took another twenty-four hours
to rediscover the lost city of Atlantis
although i forgot
to mark the spot with an “X”
the third day and night
“the sky is falling”
kept hop-, skip- and jump-ing
through my head
from moonset to moonrise
and on and on and on
until next the moon vanished
from my sight
a futile bid to silence
the hysterical voice
in my mind
a midnight ride on a dinghy
alas, it concentrically went in circles
for there was but one oar to be found
days four, five and six
i left the Earth’s atmosphere
floating just past Jupiter
in the hot air balloon
Professor Marvel
had flown o’er Kansas to Oz
i fell back to Earth on the seventh day
then got up and walked away
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artwork ~ “Red Balloon” Paul Klee
{ public domain }
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this is my submission to ~
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from Fireblossom ~ Free Verse: My Love In Her Wild Magnificence
at imaginary garden with real toads
prompt: write a poem in free verse
thank you, Fireblossom!
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Poetry Pantry #138 at Poets United
submit a new or old poem
thank you, Mary!
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i am also participating in ~
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SP! You used so many things that I talked about in my article! I love this! I like that you used “moonset” and “moonrise” instead of sunrise and sunset. It’s so “you” to have forgotten to mark the spot with an “X”…I would have, too! But the best part is that after all of these wild adventures, she just gets up and walks away. That was a masterstroke. This is SO cool!
i’m so grateful you like it, Sis! i tried really hard! just for you ♥
dang…then got up and walked away….ha…like the allusions to creation…and the play on rome wasnt built in a day there in the beginning dani…ha…some def fun parts in this as well…happy monday
thank you so much, brian! happy monday to you!!! i hope to be back up to visiting my fave blogs {like yours} by tonight.
I like this journey through the fantastic, a creation story at the individual level–and a fine example of free verse. Especially liked the end.
thank you, Joy! ♥ i’ve since revised {as in deleted a bunch} in hopes that it has a better flow now. you know i always appreciate your visits!
This is surreal! Had to wonder what kind of ‘trip’ you were really on! :-)
you are so funny, Helen! ♥ love your comment!
I like the allusion to biblical creation ~
The ending was a surprise ~ Good work on this Dani ~
thank you so much, Grace! ♥ i really appreciate your visit and kind comment.
A really intriguing write. It reminded me a little of a poem called “The Horses” by a writer called Edwin Muir. Great imagery. Really nicely written.
i’m not familiar with that poem, but i’ll be sure to check it out. thank you very much for your visit and kind comment!